| Taliban train monkeys to kill! |
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Wednesday, July 14, 2010
by Simon Dean
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WORLD EXCLUSIVE BY SIMON DEAN
TALIBAN warlords are training MONKEYS to fire guns and mortars at Allied troops in Afghanistan. Blameless apes are plucked at a young age from the bosom of their mothers and turned from loveable banana-eating critters into dead-eyed KILLERS!
Macaques and baboons are brought to Taliban chiefs after being kidnapped from the wild by profit-hungry dealers. They are then taught to handle weaponry by being encouraged to handle wooden gun replicas and handed treats when they handle the mock-ups correctly. Eventually, the monkeys move on to REAL firearms such as the notorious Kalashnikov AK47 and WW2-vintage Bren gun 每 capable of slicing a human being IN HALF with one burst of fire.
 When Sunday Sport visited the lawless tribal area of Waziristan on the Pakistan-Afghanistan border, we saw monkeys: ♂MARCHING with AK47 rifles slung across their shoulders.
♂AIMING deadly Bren guns at targets shaped like Nato troops.
♂LOOSING off rounds at the rate of up to 300 a minute.
The Taliban had kept their secret monkey army out of public sights 每 but are now parading the gun-toting beasts for TOURISTS as cynical propaganda props. A Taliban insider said: ※If the people at home think that animals may get harmed in the battle, pressure will mount for withdrawal of Western troops. The best way to do this is to show off armed monkeys in areas of Pakistan open to outsiders 每 tourists and visitors.§
A Taliban commander gloated: ※Our fighters can get in most places, but these monkeys will be able to perch in cliffs where no soldier can reach. They are faster, more agile and in some cases, more aggressive, that even the toughest human.§ A senior source in the US Army said: ※Our worst nightmare is that great apes 每 chimps, gorillas, orang-utans 每 may be trained.
It will be like Planet of the Apes, played out on the plains of Afghanistan.§ Respected animal rights group PETA condemned the vile practice of parading the primates.
Enslaved
Spokesman Martin Mallon said: ※Monkeys are intelligent, social, and active animals. Keeping them on leads and forcing them to pose for pictures deprives them of everything that is natural to them. ※Young monkeys in particular deserve to be safe and secure with their mothers, not enslaved into a joyless existence. ※We would encourage visitors to Pakistan discourage such a practice from being continued.§
HOW IT'S DONE
IRONICALLY, the technique for turning dear little monkeys into cold-blooded killers was developed by America＊s own CIA. GIs serving in Vietnam noticed that some of the monkeys straying out of the jungle picked up and handled guns and other military equipment. When twisted animal psychologists heard about this, they set up Operation Banana 每 a godless scheme to make mercenaries out of monkeys. Recognise Using a system of rewards 每 peanuts 每 and punishments, CIA scientists trained their ape recruits to handle a gun as well as any soldier and even recognise enemy combatants. KGB moles inside America＊s secrets industry leaked details of the scheme to their masters in Moscow. Within months, the GRU 每 Soviet military intelligence 每 had its own army of monkey soldiers. But with the collapse of the Soviet Union, monkey mind benders found themselves out of a job and sold their twisted skills to a variety of groups including, it now seems, the Taliban.
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